The baby has a cleft

So, how did I feel when I found out our baby was going to born with a cleft lip and palate?  I don't think the word 'destroyed' quite covers it.  I was unhappy because (I thought) I had been deprived of so much.  Yes, pretty selfish of me I suppose, but I want to be honest here and explain exactly how I felt. 

No 'newborn' photos.  Who would want to remember that their baby was ugly? When a new baby is born, everybody, especially the parents take dozens of photos of the new arrival right?  I didn't want photos of the thing with a hole in its face.  I don't want to be reminded of that.  I thought I would start taking photos after the repair surgery was done. 

And what are people going to say in the street?  Picture the scene - Walking to the shops pushing the pram with the little monster in it.  Lady leans into pram and says "Oh what a lovely little.......OH MY GOD".  What could people say? 

1. Oh he's gorgeous - They would be lying, it certainly isn't gorgeous.

2. Oh my god, what is that thing? - Truthful, but such a nasty nasty thing to say.

3. It's a pity about the lip - It's just not right to say things like that is it?

So I kind of imagined we would be in this awkward position several times before the baby has the lip repaired.  I didn't need it, I didn't want it.  I wanted a 'normal' baby boy.   I thought it would probably be best to put a sign on the pram saying "Warning - Ugly baby, don't look". 

However... 

All that total crap I have written up there was blown away in a split second by one single event that changed everything.  Tyler's birth. As soon as Tyler arrived into the world, I absolutely loved him to pieces, no matter what was wrong with him.  I realised in a fraction of a millisecond that he actually was gorgeous.  I realised when people lean into the pram and tell us he's beautiful, they actually mean it, they aren't lying.  I also realised how stupid I had been to be thinking the things I did. 

While we are out, not one single person has had an adverse reaction to the baby's appearance.  Every single person who has leaned into the pram said he is lovely, and you know what?  They mean it, I can tell.  I know when somebody is acting, I can spot it a mile away.